Happy?

I think I've decided that I'm not meant to be happy.

I don't say that to sound emo. Well, maybe I did at first. But now I definitely feel differently.

I feel this to be true because I always want something that I can't have. It's just one thing after another. It's as if I don't think something is worth pursuing unless it's impossible for me to obtain.

I've heard before that life might not be about being happy, but rather about the pursuit of happiness. And maybe that's true. I've found that I'm most content when I'm searching for something. When I'm pursuing something that can never be. That's just the way that I am. I've always had big dreams. Unattainable goals. I don't know why, but I can't help it.

So, maybe I'm right. Maybe I'm not meant to be happy, perhaps not everybody is. I'm often perfectly okay with fighting for the things I can't possibly have. It's possible that I'm supposed to keep pursuing my dreams and see what comes of them. Who knows, maybe I will one day find happiness. Or maybe I'll just grow up. We'll see.