I think some things are finally in a good place. College is looking good. Money is still scary, but I'm finding some good scholarships and stuff.
Other things still aren't sorted out.
I wish I could fix this one thing, but I'm realizing that maybe it's not broken.
I went on a long walk today, visiting some places with big memories attached to them. I cried my eyes out. I felt abandoned. I needed a hug. I told no one. But I think it was good for me.
I'm starting to seriously wonder what a few certain people think of me. They say one thing, but I'm getting the sense that they think something entirely different.
I'm beginning to think that I'll never get to have that one thing I need most. And I no longer used the term "need" loosely at all.
I've also been listening to the Backstreet Boys' "I Want It That Way" on repeat. I don't really know why. My friend/kids pastor and I blasted it in his car on Friday singing along at the top of our lungs. It's a fun song to sing along with. I guess maybe I'm just obsessed with love type songs, especially the kind about someone wanting someone he can't have.
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