It started years ago. I think it began when people would talk about me and they would always refer to me as "Josh Kelly". I asked people why I was the only one listed with a last name when everybody else they talked about was just referred to by their first names. I thought maybe it was because they might know other people named Josh and they used my last name to avoid confusion. But they all told me it was because I am Josh Kelly. It describes me.
People don't know me as Josh. When they see me, almost every single time, they greet me with "JOSH KELLY!"
Over time, Josh Kelly has become his own beast. I feel that in some ways it has grown to be a larger persona than the person that I am. It encompasses some characteristics that I fear I might not live up to. People have expectations of Josh Kelly. Josh Kelly is an idea.
Maybe that's true. Maybe Josh Kelly is bigger than me. He might be more than I can be at one time. Or maybe I am him, and I've just lost touch with part of it. I used to feel that Josh Kelly got out of my control. But recently, more and more, I feel like I am Josh Kelly.
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