Pictures

Memories are a very big deal to me. I've never really owned a decent camera, or really any camera at all. At some point I realized just how fantastic pictures are at capturing moments. I'm a very visual person. Most of my memories come in the sense of what I saw, then I remember what I felt, and eventually what I heard if I happen to remember that at all. I thought it would be awesome to have a camera and be able to capture any moment that I wish, and when I got my iPhone with a decent camera I thought my problem was solved.

It wasn't until recently that I realized just how much memories can suck.

Memories of the most amazing moments that I've ever experienced are now the things that plague me. They haunt me at their own discretion. It's just like in the show Chuck when he flashes, I literally become immobilized for a moment while the memories consume me. I just have to deal with it.

This entry goes hand-in-hand with the last one. Pictures now scare me.

I only have a few. And I haven't been able to bring myself to delete them. I never look at them, but they're there. That's just it, though. Our generation has to deal with something no one has had to deal with to this extent before. With Facebook and all the other social media sites we use, there are pictures and other reminders everywhere. Unless you choose to delete them, you'll always have the pictures and status updates about your exes. If you're on youtube and include a significant other in a video, that video will be there to remind you. That's why I feel bad for Mitchell Davis right now about his break up with Jena.

A question I'm wondering is, should you delete them? That time was a part of your life. It's a part of your story and what made you the person you became. I just don't know.

I'm afraid to take pictures because I don't know when seemingly great times will later come back to hurt me. I don't think I'll ever post pictures of myself and a girl anywhere online unless we've been together for a very long time and it seems like it will last longer. (But, of course, I fear that she will start asking me why I wont post anything online, and I wont be able to explain it without making her mad. Oh, the life I live.)

I deal with memories enough already without pictures, so, even though I think pictures are amazing, I don't think I could handle having those added on to what I already struggle with.